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Quotes Buying books would be a good thing if one could also buy the time to read them in: but as a rule the purchase of books is mistaken for the appropriation of their contents. Books are the carriers of civilization. Without books, history is silent, literature dumb, science crippled, thought and speculation at a standstill. Without books, the development of civilization would have been impossible. They are engines of change, windows on the world, and (as a poet has said) 'lighthouses erected in the sea of time.' They are companions, teachers, magicians, bankers of the treasures of the mind. Books are humanity in print. You despise books; you whose lives are absorbed in the vanities of ambition, the pursuit of pleasure, or indolence; but remember that all the known world, excepting only savage nations, is governed by books. I cannot live without books. When I get a little money, I buy books. And if there is any left over, I buy food. A home without books is a body without soul. Leisure without books is death, and burial of a man alive. To acquire the habit of reading is to construct for yourself a refuge from almost all the miseries of life. What shall I do with my books,' was the question; and the answer 'Read them' sobered the questioner. But if you cannot read them, at any rate handle them and, as it were, fondle them. Peer into them. Let them fall open where they will. Read on from the very first sentence that arrests the eye. Then turn to another. Make a voyage of discovery, taking soundings of uncharted seas…. Arrange them on your own plan, so that if you do not know what is in them, you at least know where they are. If they cannot be your friends, let them at any rate be your acquaintances. If they cannot enter the circle of your life, do not deny them at least a nod of recognition. Call it impiety, but to me the very word library has a sanctity that church cannot gain. The sacredness is my own association, of course. It is thick walls and tall windows. It is quiet rustling pages that whisper of knowledge. It is cool and smelly with that exciting odor that can only be got from aging glue, printers ink, paper, leather, and ideas together. Thnik first. Then typo. Einstein meets Pythagoras: E = m (a^2 + b^2) Sleep is for the weak. And your beard is so… twisted! These are not the droids you are looking for…. Move along. I am undecided about spots. You bring these things into our homes. They sit on our chairs. They watch our televisions. Now, I just need to know, on behalf of all men everywhere, I just need to ask, please… What are [cushions] for? I mean, look at them! Look at the chubby little bastards! Just sitting around everywhere! What are they, pets for chairs? Me, me, me, me me me meeeee! Inconceivable! You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die. As you can see, we've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Anderson. Where would people never notice a town full of robots? Connecticut. …You know, the one that goes… Plasmic. Some people juggle geese. I missed the part where that's my problem. Act your age and not your shoe size. To those who understand, no explanation is necessary. To those who do not, none is possible. If cats could talk, they wouldn't. Deceivances can be appearing. The world is your lobster. Never could get the hang of Thursdays. Don't panic. 42 I will stand or I will fall. I will not sit. I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on. What do sevens count as? Never mind the poet Burns, Jeeves. …about the cow creamer, I mean. Is it a code? Thusly I come full oval. Tomorrow? Tomorrow! Monday is a day of rest for all genies! Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow creeps in this petty pace from day to day to the last syllable of recorded time. Tomorrow, tomorrow, I'll love ya, tomorrow. There's nothing like biting off more than you can chew, and then chewing anyway. I see that it works in practice… but how does it work in theory? Nothing in my life ever came with a guarantee. You're entitled to your mistaken opinion. For every complex problem, there is a solution that is simple, neat, and wrong 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2. A computer program does what you tell it to do, not what you want it to do. The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas. In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice, but in practice… There are two types of people in the world: 1) those that can extrapolate from incomplete data … You always find things in the last place you look. The following statement is not true. The previous statement is true. If it ain't broke don't fix it: better is often the enemy of good. I'm disinclined to acquiesce to your request. One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. A camel: a horse designed by a committee If you aim at nothing, you'll hit it every time. Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest. Even if you're on the right track, you'll get run over if you just sit there. No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer. What if this weren't a hypothetical question? A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend upon the support of Paul. We are all ignorant, just on different subjects. I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book. Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world to do. I know. I've done it many times. Tell the truth. It's easier to remember. roses are #FF0000, violets are #0000FF, all my base are belong to you. There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't Life is tough and then you graduate. I'm confused. Wait, maybe I'm not! I might be feeling ambivalent… Engrish Locks! If you can fake sincerity, you've got it made. The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made. Just it do! No Smorking! The passive voice is to be avoided. Verbing weirds language. The Optimist believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. The Pessimist fears that this is true. Procrastinate now! It's not procrastination if you put it off right away. I never finish anyth Hindsight is an exact science. For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism. I Am Teacher. Pay Me More. Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic. The test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves. If you would know strength and patience, welcome the company of trees. I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by. Earth first! We can mine the other planets later. When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. There is no sin greater than ignorance Friends help you move. Real friends help you move books. So many books. So little time. If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. Okay, then what's the speed of dark? Han shoots first. Everybody needs something to believe. I believe I'll go read another book. Vegetables aren't food. Vegetables are what food eats. Procrastinate later! My mind is as tarp as a shack. I have a mind like a steel something or other. I'm not nearly as think as you confused I am! I don't deserve self-esteem. My husband is a gradual student. A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. If the only tool you have is a hammer, everything starts to look like a nail. This sticker has been discontinued. Ban bumper stickers. Dogs have owners, cats have staff. Preserve the old growth lithosphere: Ban subduction! Authorized agent guilt trip travel agency We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary. Life's tough. It's tougher if you're stupid. Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors. I'm not lost. I'm exploring! Thnik. A good university needs a stadium like a fish needs a bicycle. Stupidity got us into this mess. Why can't it get us out? Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground. Warning! Beware of Gross Ignorance. 144 times worse than normal ignorance. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. Carpe noctem. Monosyllabic isn't. Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes. C Code; C Code Run; Run Code Run; Run Damn it Run! Most computer problems are caused by a loose nut between the chair and the keyboard. You make a better door than a window. Park on a driveway, drive on a parkway. Don't steal; the government hates competition. Work harder. Millions on welfare depend on you. Eschew obfuscation. People who think they know everything are an annoyance to those of us who do. Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. You're entitled to your wrong opinion. got capitalization? got punctuation BOY AM I CLEVER, I FOUND THE CAPS LOCK! Eat right, stay fit. Die anyway. I don't just have one or two issues. I have a subscription. We are all individuals. We are all individuals. Ever stop to think and forget to start again? Nostalgia isn't what it used to be. People almost never use the word seldom. I'm no good at self-deprecation. Wally: Stupidity is like nuclear power; it can be used for good or evil. Dilbert: And you don’t want to get any on you. What if ""God"" is the consciousness that will be created when wnought of us are connected by the intenet?!! What moron invented leg covers that can be destroyed by touching a twig?! Must… control… fist… of… death… Never offend people with style when you can offend them with substance. If a book is worth reading, it is worth buying. Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it is hard to read. Pobody's nerfect. Not for the true-born Englishman the bony angular knee of the so-called intellectual, not for him the puffy knee of the criminal classes. The British knee is firm, the British knee is muscular, the British knee is on the march! I'd like a wicked submarine with a twist. The only thing that stands inbetween us and victory is defeat! Relish today. Ketchup tomorrow. Support a cause. Stop plate tectonics. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him ot fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day. I'm not a complete idiot. Some parts are missing. Instant programmer. Just add coffee. I lost an electron. Are you sure? Yes, I'm positive! Too much blood in my caffeine stream It's not that I can't explain it, it's just that you woulnd't understand. Fear no weevil. Spell check. It's impotent. Mathematician. A device for turning coffee into theorems. To err is human. To arrr is pirate. Geology rocks. Do not meddle in the affairs of Wizards, for they are subtle and quick to anger. Humor can be dissected as a frog can, but the thing dies in the process and the innards are discouraging to any but the pure scientific mind. All generalizations are false. Don't judge a book by its movie. Don't let schooling get in the way of your education. You must be from the department of redundancy department. I love animals - they taste great! It's bad luck to be superstitious. Be true to your teeth or your teeth will be false to you. Math is hard. Let's just guess from now on. The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again. The test of a vocation is the love of the drudgery it involves If you would know strength and patience, welcome the company of trees Be yourself: everyone else is taken I am a prefectionist. I am unique. Just like everyone else. How do you catch a unique rabbit? Unique on it. How do you catch a tame rabbit? Tame way, unique up on it. How do crazy people go through the forest? They take the psycho path. How do you get holy water? You boil the hell out of it. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Dam! What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. What do you call santa's helpers? Subordinate clauses. What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand? Quattro sinko.. What do you get from a pampered cow? Spoiled milk. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? A nervous wreck. I would rather be given a dead fish than a compliment. I never know what to do with them. Spondulick! The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese. Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. A cobbler's son has no shoes. The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. I am meditating on the oneness of being. Act natural Achievement: You can do anything you set your mind to when you have vision, determination, and an endless supply of expendable labor. Adversity: That which does not kill me postpones the inevitable. Agony: Not all pain is gain. Ambition: The journey of a thousand miles sometimes ends very, very badly Apathy: If we don't take care of the customer,maybe they'll stop bugging us. Arrogance: The best leaders inspire by example. When that's not an option, brute intimidation works pretty well, too. Beauty: If you're attractive enough on the outside, people will forgive you for being irritating to the core. Bitterness: Never be afraid to share your dreams with the world, because there's nothing the world loves more than the taste of really sweet dreams. Blame: The secret to success is knowing who to blame for your failures. Burnout: Attitudes are contagious. Mine might kill you. Challenges: I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent Change: When the winds of change blow hard enough, the most trivial of things can become deadly projectiles. Cluelessness: There are no stupid questions, but there are a LOT of inquisitive idiots. Compromise: Let's agree to respect each others views, no matter how wrong yours may be Conformity: When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other. Consistency: It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup. Consulting: If you're not a part of the solution,there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem. Cust. Care: If we really care for the customer we'd send them somewhere better Cust. Disservice: Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied. DaretoSlack: When birds fly in the right formation, they need only exert half the effort. Even in nature, teamwork results in collective laziness. Defeat: For every winner, there are dozens of losers. Odds are you're one of them. Delusions: There is no greater joy than soaring high on the wings of your dreams, except maybe the joy of watching a dreamer who has nowhere to land but in the ocean of reality. Demotivation: Sometimes the best solution to morale problems is just to fire all of the unhappy people. Despair: It's always darkest just before it goes pitch black. Destiny: You were meant for me. Perhaps as a punishment. Discovery: A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans. Disloyalty: There comes a time when every team must learn to make individual sacrifices. Disservice: It takes months to find a customer, but only seconds to lose one… the good news is that we should run out of them in no time. Do it Later: The early worm is for the birds. Doubt: In the battle between you and the world, bet on the world. Dreams: Dreams are like rainbows. Only idiots chase them. Dysfunction: The only consistent feature in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you. Effort: Hard work never killed anybody, but it is illegal in some places. Elitism: It's lonely at the top, but it's comforting to look down upon everyone at the bottom. Failure: When your best just isn't good enough. Fear: Until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore, you will not know the terror of being forever lost at sea Flattery: If you want to get to the top, prepare to kiss a lot of the bottom. Futility: You'll always miss 100% of the shots you don't take, and, statistically speaking, 99% of the shots you do. Get To Work: You aren't being paid to believe in the power of your dreams. Give Up: At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser. Goals: It's best to avoid standing directly between a competitive jerk and his goals. Hazards: There is an island of opportunity in the middle of every difficulty. Miss that, though, and you're pretty much doomed. Hope: May not be warranted at this point. Humiliation: The harder you try, the dumber you look. Idiocy: Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. Ignorance: It's amazing how much easier it is for a team to work together when no one has any idea where they're going. Incompetence: When you earnestly believe you can compensate for a lack of skill by doubling your efforts, there's no end to what you can't do. Indifference: It takes 43 muscles to frown and 17 to smile, but it doesn't take any to just sit there with a dumb look on your face. Individuality: Always remember that you are unique. Just like everybody else. Ineptitude: If you can't learn to do something well, learn to enjoy doing it poorly. Insanity: It's difficult to comprehend how insane some people can be. Especially when you're insane. Inspiration: Genius is 1 percent inspiration and 99% perspiration, which is why engineers sometimes smell really bad. Intimidation: No one can make you feel inferior without your consent, but you'd be a fool to withhold that from your superiors. Irresponsibility: No single raindrop believes it is to blame for the flood. Laziness: Success is a journey, not a destination. So stop running. Leaders: Leaders are like eagles. We don't have either of them here. Limitations: Until you spread your wings, you'll have no idea how far you can walk. Loneliness: If you find yourself struggling with loneliness, you're not alone. And yet you are alone. So very alone. Losing: If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style. Madness: Madness does not always howl. Sometimes, it is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ""Hey, is there room in your head for one more?"",www.despair.com, , ,
290,0,Mediocrity: It takes a lot less time and most people won't notice the difference until it's too late.,www.despair.com, , ,
291,0,Meetings: None of us is as dumb as all of us.,www.despair.com, , ,
292,0,"Misfortune: While good fortune often eludes you, this kind never misses. Mistakes: It could be that the purpose of your life is only to serve as a warning to others. Motivation: If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon. Nepotism: We promote family values here - almost as often as we promote family members. Overconfidence: Before you attempt to beat the odds, be sure you could survive the odds beating you. Pessimism: Every dark cloud has a silver lining, but lightning kills hundreds of people each year who are trying to find it. Persistence: It's over, man. Let her go. Planning: Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress. Possibilities: With focus, dedication and steroids, men can achieve impossible dreams. Like breaking a world record. Or growing their own breasts. Potential: Not everyone gets to be an astronaut when they grow up. Power: Power corrupts. Absolute power corrupts absolutely. But it rocks absolutely, too. Pressure: It can turn a lump of coal into a flawless diamond, or an average person into a perfect basketcase. Pretension: The downside of being better than everyone else is that people tend to assume you're pretentious. Problems: No matter how great and destructive your problems may seem now, remember, you've probably only seen the tip of them Procrastination: Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now. Propaganda: What lies behind us and lies before us are small matters compared to what lies right to our faces. Quality: The race for quality has no finish line- so technically, it's more like a death march. Regret: It hurts to admit when you make mistakes - but when they're big enough, the pain only lasts a second Retirement: Because you've given so much of yourself to the Company that you don't have anything left we can use. Risks: If you never try anything new, you'll miss out on many of life's great disappointments. Sacrifice: Your role may be thankless, but if you're willing to give it your all, you just might bring success to those who outlast you. Sacrifice (Temple): All we ask here is that you give us your heart. Strife: As long as we have each other, we'll never run out of problems. Stupidity: Quitters never win, winners never quit, but those who never win AND never quit are idiots. Success: Some people dream of success, while other people live to crush those dreams. Teamwork: A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction. Tradition: Just because you've always done it that way doesn't mean it's not incredibly stupid. Trouble: Luck can't last a lifetime unless you die young. Underachievement: The tallest blade of grass is the first to be cut by the lawnmower. Wishes: When you wish upon a falling star, your dreams can come true. Unless it's really a meteorite hurtling to the Earth which will destroy all life. Then you're pretty much hosed no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor. Worth: Just because you're necessary doesn't mean you're important Without me you're just aweso. Stand for something or you'll fall for anything. Honk if you hate noise pollution! If you don't think you can, you probably can't. Le 'on' exclut la personne qui parle. You snooze, you lose; you snost, you lost. Be yourself, because the people that mind don't matter, and the people that matter don't mind. Smarter than a monkey, cheaper than a robot. Do vegetarians eat animal crackers? If guns kill people, do pencils misspell words? It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not. If you can't laugh at yourself, I'd be glad to do it for you. I'm not so good with the advice. Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment? If only closed minds came with closed mouths. Money is not the most important thing in the world. Love is. Fortunately, I love money. In God we trust. All others must pay cash. Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons. If you owe the bank $100 that's your problem. If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem. It doesn't matter if you're black or white… the only color that really matters is green. If you would know the value of money, go and try to borrow some. Bart, with $10000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like… love! The easiest way for your children to learn about money is for you not to have any. All I ask is the chance to prove that money can't make me happy. What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money. Too many people spend money they haven't earned, to buy things they don't want, to impress people they don't like. If God only gave me a clear sign… like making a large deposit in my name at a swiss bank. Between work and family, I'm really not spending enough quality time with my money. A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it. Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping. When I was young I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old I know that it is. A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. Always borrow money from a pessimist… he doesn't expect to be paid back. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments. Don't tell me where your priorities are. Show me where you spend your money and I'll tell you what they are. Formal education will make you a living; self-education will make you a fortune. It ain't over 'til it's over Never answer an anonymous letter I usually take a two hour nap from one to four It's deja vu all over again When you come to a fork in the road….Take it I didn't really say everything I said Yogi on the 1969 NY Mets….."" overwhelming underdogs "",Yogi Berra, , ,
369,0,"When asked what time is was……"" you mean now?"",Yogi Berra, , ,
370,0, I want to thank you for making this day necessary,……… Yogi Berra day in St Louis 1947, , ,
371,0,"On why NY lost the 1960 series to Pittsburgh "" We made too many wrong mistakes"",Yogi Berra, , ,
372,0,You can observe a lot by watching ,Yogi Berra, , ,
373,0,The future ain't what it used to be ,Yogi Berra, , ,
374,0,It gets late early out here,Yogi Berra, , ,
375,0,"If the world were perfect, it wouldn't be If the people don't want to come out to the ballpark, nobody's going to stop them. A child of five would understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five. Before I speak, I have something important to say. I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it. I intend to live forever, or die trying. Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read. Why should I care about posterity? What's posterity ever done for me? We have only 2 things to worry about: That things will never get back to normal, and that they already have. I'm actually pale blue. It takes me a week of sunbathing to turn white. What if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential? The time for action is past! Now is the time for senseless bickering! Nostalgia ain't what it used to be. Things ain't what they used to be, and probably never was. Just because I have a short attention span doesn't mean I Reality is for people who can't handle science fiction. Honk if you hate bumper stickers that say ""Honk if …"", , , , 393,0,"If practice makes perfect, and nobody's perfect, why practice? He who laughs last thinks slowest. I have an inferiority complex, but it isn't a very good one. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. TV is a Medium, called so because it is neither rare nor well done… Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark. Don't worry what people think. They don't do it very often. |
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Last update to site: 24 September, 2011 |
